So as you may or may not know, I’ve become a huge gym rat (<~ I consider this a good thing.) I was always athletic growing up, but once I hit college that changed (unless beer pong is a sport.) I had a really awesome metabolism, so my body didn’t change if I ate fried food three times a day and drank more beer than is even conceivable today.
Shortly after my 21st birthday, I noticed my metabolism starting to slow down. Suddenly, if I ate a large pizza for dinner I gained a pound (<~ weird right?) Over the years between my 21st and 23rd birthdays, my weight fluctuated between 125 and 150; back and forth and back and forth it would go. Usually I’d find a happy medium around 135, only to go up again and then back down.
Then, I lost a very close friend in a very traumatic way. Soon after, I started getting sick. Really sick. ER sick. My doctors ran my blood a bagillion times (OK four times running 10-12 tests each time). But everything looked fine. Perfecto even! They decided, in their infinite wisdom, that I was internalizing my grief over the lost of my friend and the stress was making me physically ill. They put me on Paxil (w/ a side of Ativan).
Well, I SWELLED UP LIKE A HOT AIR BALLOON. Passing my happy medium of 135, not stopping at 145, or 155, or even 165. When I hit 166.5, and didn’t feel any better I might add, I went to a new doctor. She said “ENOUGH.” She started to wean me off the Paxil and Ativan and also suggested I switch my birth control (I won’t name any names “birth control that tried to kill me.” But your name starts with a Y and rhymes with Taz.) She noticed in my file that my GYN had switched me from Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo to this new pill around the same time as I lost my friend, and thought that was too strange of a cooinkydink.
Weaning off of Paxil was really hard. No joke. The doctors told me it would be like withdrawing from any drug; my body was going to crave the substance. I had dizzy spells, cold sweats, nausea, panic attacks, heart palpitations, achy muscles, and these things called “the zaps,” where it feels like your brain just stuck itself in an electrical outlet, for a second and then it’s gone. I had to step my dosage down slowly to keep from feeling too many withdrawal symptoms. It took almost three months to finally wean off. (This is supposed to scare you from taking one of these drugs unless it’s 100% necessary. Do yoga. Meditate. Don’t Medicate.) I took my last pill on Thanksgiving day of 2010.
The following Monday I was in the gym. The sneakers I wore to the gym that day I had literally owned since I was a freshman in college. It’s been 5 months and I have put holes in them. (Told you I wasn’t very active before.) So now, I need new sneaks! I don’t want to spend a ton of dinero but I want something that’s really going to stand up. Cuz the moral of this story is, once I got off all those pills, I felt more amazing than I had felt in my whole life. Sure, I had crazy emotions for the first few months as my brain learned to feel things again. And sure I would randomly cry at NOTHING. I would cry at milk cartons in the grocery store. But I could feel really really happy too, and I liked that. I’m at 138lbs now, pretty darn close to my happy medium, but I’d like to continue to beat sneakers up for the rest of my life.
For Tuesday Shoesday, I’ve put some contenders down below. If you’re athletic and have a suggestion of your own, or want to comment on these options, I’d really appreciate it. Cuz I feel really awkward going to the gym with holes in my shoes, and I’d like to change it up ASAP!
Ps. When I decided to do a TS post about sneakers, I didn’t know I was gonna get this personal with it. Once I started to get it all out, I just couldn’t stop. I sure hope you guys don’t mind terribly!